Recently Roger and I discovered a delicious asian food restaurant near our apartment. We decided to give it a try and the events that followed are completely real.

1) Roger calls the restaurant to order pick-up from his cell phone. He does not introduce himself, but the man on the phone mysteriously asks, “Is that all for you, Mr. Wong?”

2) Roger and I went about our normal lives.

3) Later that week I call the restaurant from Roger’s phone to place a pick-up order. “Hello, George Wong. How can I help you?” Okay now we’re getting concerned. Roger’s cell is on his dad’s (George’s) family plan and it’s a Maryland area code. But aren’t cell phone numbers unlisted?

4) Days later, I place an order online for pickup, using my email (kevin[@]kevingalls.com). When I get there and pay cash for my pick-up, the name on the order is George Wong. WTF?

5) This is the weirdest one. I have never called the restaurant from my cellphone, which has a completely different area code than Roger’s. I decide to dial in a pick-up order while driving home from class. The phone rings until I hear a voice. “Hello, George Wong -what would you like to order today?” answers Satan.

6) Okay this has gone on long enough, a few days later I call in an order and when I go to pick it up and pay for my bag that says “George Wong” on it, I ask the restaurant owner, “Why do you keep calling me George Wong?” “What is your name?”, he responds. I look down at the handful of cash I was paying with. If I used a credit card, they’d know my name and I’d be in their enormous database of lies. “Roger”, I replied.